Series Intro - Feeding Baby

Next up is our "What to feed baby" series.

What to feed baby can be a VERY touchy subject for some (maybe even most) people. I know because I have been on both extremes (more details later). I hope to provide factual information for all feeding options so that individual Moms can make informed decisions about what is best for their families.

Here are the following topics to be covered:

1. Breast Vs. Bottle
1. Breastfeeding
2. Formula Feeding
2. Solids Store Bought vs. Homemade
1.  Featured Recipe Week

Baby Stuff - Happy Black Friday!

 

Since the Christmas shopping season has "officially" begun today (although is seems like some stores had a Christmas display in August), buying stuff is on everyone's mind.  So, to finish off the "baby stuff" series, I am going to display one baby item that is typically purchased by parents to be per day. I will try to put the retail price, what I paid and what I think is a "good" price. I would love to see your comments on what you paid for the item or if you disagree with that I think a "good" price is!

Baby Stuff - What does baby really need?

It is so easy to get overwhelmed when walking into a babies R us with a scanner to register for everything you need. You hear other moms say that X was a life saver and that every Mom needs one. You subconsciously feel like if you don't get your baby everything that the 20 page babies R us registry guide tells you to that you are a bad parent that is unwilling to provide the best for your child and are thus being neglectful. These feelings are even stronger when you are pregnant too.

Then you look at the picture above and look at history and realize that humanity has survived on FAR less.

I recently watched a video that I made to send to my grandma when we first moved into our 1,700 sq ft house and remembered thinking. WE NEED MORE STUFF. Our house looks so empty.
However, in the four years we have been there, we (mostly I) have managed to stuff it full. The addition of our son has added so much more that we are working to finish part of our basement just to keep the additional gifts we get from friends and family and the deals that I get. My major head ache now is attempting to not become the next episode of hoarders.

What does baby really need to survive and thrive?
Love, warmth and nourishment. The better question might be:

What do I need to help me keep up with my current life responsibilities and still raise my child?
Unfortunately, I cannot provide the ultimate list on what you need and don't need because every family and every child is different. A stay at home mom may have no use for a breast pump, but for a working mom who desires to breast feed, a pump would be essential in almost all cases.

Here is a list of things you may be able to wait and see on:

• High Chair
• When my high chair was not purchased off my registry right away, I started to panic. Where will my baby eat after they are born? Although I knew that newborns don't eat solid food until 4-6+ months, this didn't click for me. Our highchair sat in the box for the first 3 months of his life.
• Don't get me wrong, we use it all the time, but it is also a large piece of furnature in our small dining space. As great as it looks with our decor, if I had to do it again, I would buy a high chair that straps in to a regular chair or just use the booster and strap that I got for $2 at a garage sale.
• Changing Table
• We use ours because it is there. When we are downstairs we use a mat on the floor or on a bed. This is just another large and expensive piece of furnature that you can avoid if you want.
• My Dad had a changing table/dresser made for us, so it does serve a double funtion and I love the look. We had it made so that it will work for an extra dresser in our bedroom when we no longer need it for a changing table.
• Cribs
• Newborn babies do not roll around and thus do not need a crib on the day you bring them home. A blanket on floor (assuming they will not get stepped on or bothered by pets) may work just fine for your family.
• Some of my friends kids have never slept in a crib even though they own one. The baby has been in bed with the parents. If you understand the "risks" and feel that it is a safe option for your family, a crib could be one of those items that you can wait and see on.
• Note: One "risk" of co-sleeping may be your relationship with your spouse, so make sure everyone is on board.
• Extra Car seat base
• This is a huge money saver in my opinion! I have said this before and I will say it again. REGISTER FOR A CONVERTIBLE CAR SEAT INSTEAD OF AN EXTRA BASE. You can get them that fit all the way down to 5lbs. Put the infant carrier (I call them baby buckets) in the car you use the most and the convertible car seat in the other car.
• Technically you don't even need an infant carrier, but they are SOO nice to have so you don't need to disturb a sleeping baby especially if you are running errands and have multiple stops to make.
• This also potentially avoids you having to pay for the convertible car seat when one is needed if you can get it purchased off your registry.
• Baby Swing
• Our son didn't really use the swing that our friends were kind enough to lend us. It was nice to have on occasion, but not essential for us. I do know many other parents who say they wouldn't have survived without one though.
• Bumbo Seat
• This is one of the first things that most people I know have purchased when they found out they were pregnant. It was really cute to use for pictures before he was too tall and the seat allowed for his head to be propped up. However once he was truly old enough to use it he was only able to use it for a short period of time that overlapped with the time he used his bouncer seat and excersaucer. So, yes we used it, but I didn't feel it was an essential baby thing.

Here are some things that I have and found useless:
Keep in mind that I know at least one other person that says they could not live without these items.

• Wipe warmer
• The wipe is usually cold again by the time you get it from the warmer to your babies butt.
• The wipes dry out.
• They day I found mold in my warmer is the day it was unplugged and moved to the basement in the "mom 2 mom" sale bin.
• The Bundle Me
• Our son hated to be covered up.
• We  just used a blanket to cover the seat.
• The day I arrived a location and realized that the baby bucket was not snapped into the base all the way because the fabric on the cover was in the way was the day it was banished to the sale bin.
• Car seat manufactures and cars seat safety advocates advise against using ANYTHING (extra head rests, toys, mirrors, etc) in the car seat as they could interfere with how the car seat protects your child or become projectiles in an accident. Dibs! also shared this great demonstration on why you should not put a winter coat on your child while they are in a car seat.
• Bedding sets
• Wow these are pricey!
• As pictured in last weeks post. I still had the bedding set that my Mom made for me as an infant that I planned to use for my son. It looked great in pictures of the nursery too!
• However, the pillow, blanket and bumpers are deemed not safe to use in cribs, so they were taken off as soon as our son came home.
• The bed skirt looked nice until we lowered the crib to the lowest setting and the skirt was way to long. 
• So, they only things from the bedding set still in the crib today? The fitted sheet.
• My advice? Invest in 2 mattress pads and 3-4 crib sheets at a garage sale and call it good.
• Why 4?? You will understand when your child get their first flu and you find them sleeping in their own vomit 3 times in one night. 
• You many need even more if you use daycare and they do not provide the sheets.
• Toys 
• We have a ton of fun and cute toys for my son to play with. His favorites?
• An old kleenex box that he can shove stuff in.... like his shoes (thanks Becky C.)
• My baking drawer in the kitchen that he takes things in and out of. 
• Basically, if you can resist the temptation to buy something because it is only $.25 and so cute and can get your family and friends to do the same... go for it. You have enough stuff around the house that is just as interesting!

Here are some things I needed more of.

• Baby Gates
• I bought two of the gates that you screw into the wall at a garage sale for the top of each set of stairs in our home. One of those gates was installed as soon as he was mobile, the other is sitting in our baby storage closet in the basement. After our son began crawling we went to babies r us in an act of desperation and purchased a 2 pack gate set for full price! These gate have been used in multiple locations and have been used and friends and parents houses. Mostly to contain him to one area of the house so we were not chasing him.
• Newborn Clothes
• I did not realize that "Newborn" and "0-3" months were two different sizes. I think I had 1 or 2 outfits that fit my 6ln 9oz baby when he was born. Plus I also did not factor in that infants may need 5+ outfits per day due to spit up....
• Baskets/Storage
• I had never been a basket person until after my son was born. 
• We have a "diaper" basket with diapers and creams etc in:
• His bedroom.
• 2 in the downstairs changing area (one for cloth diapers and one for accessories and disposables).
• We have toy baskets
• In the upstairs bathroom
• 2 in the living room, one for toys and one for books
• and then we have the various book shelves and a toy organizer for everything else.
• Bouncer Seat
• I really wished I had an extra one of these for the upstairs. I had a rough recovery and it was all I could do to carry him up the stairs let alone a bouncy seat as well. He used it for quite awhile to, so if the price is right, I will probably get an additional one if we have another
• Excersaucer
• These are pricey. New and used. We actually didn't plan on getting one at all, but were given one as a gift after our son was born. I have to say this was one of my favorite baby items. It was the one thing that kept him happy and in one place if I was cooking and needed him to stay away from the stove. They had a huge room full of them at a mom2mom sale for $2!!!! and I kicked myself every day for a long time that I didn't buy more. They are so large that they are hard to transport, so it would have been great to have one at both grandparents houses and maybe even one for outdoor use. However, it was not worth $20+ to me to have more (which is how much the others I saw afterward were).
• Multiples of this doesn't sound as appealing right now as storing just the one in our storage closet has been a pain since it is such an awkward shape. 
• We also had a jumperoo lent to us that he LOVED. 
• Swaddle Me (aka baby burrito wrap)
• At first I didn't want to swaddle my son. It seemed mean to tie him up. However, after a few nights without sleep, we gave it a try and he loved it and slept. I was made aware of this wonderful product by ...and baby makes 3 who's son is about 4 months older than mine, so I had registered for one. Again with the spit up and such... I would recommend at least 2! (another babies r us full price purchase out of desperation)
• Pack and Play mattress pads
• This was an item I didn't even think about needing, but the sheets are thin and the mattress is not washable or waterproof, so they are essential if you use the pack and play a lot.

My recommendation for what you really need:

• Clothes
• 1 or 2 diaper changing stations (do not need to be actual changing tables, just a mat and a basket with diapers and creams etc.)
• A place for baby to sleep (could be with you, in a crib, in a pack n play on a mattress on the floor (minute 2.45).
• Bottles if you formula feed or pump (and a pump if you pump)
• A place to feed baby. If you choose to feed solids before they can sit, you can have them eat in a bouncy seat. After they can sit, I booster on your chair, pulled up to the table will work.
• A car seat if you drive.
• A place to keep baby happy or safe if you need to cook or do something they cannot be too close to. (excersaucer, jumperoo, bouncy seat, bumbo, baby gates). Slings work well too, but not when I am over the stove.

Baby Stuff - What Can I Make?

Technically I suppose you can make everything your baby needs if you are extremely skilled in many areas.

I however am not.

There are some neat tutorials out there on things that you can easily make.


Make your own Ring Sling

 
Make your own Mei Tai Carrier

Make your own Moby Wrap -  All you need is about 5 yards of Jersey material. You can cut it in 3 pieces lengthwise and you will get THREE wraps. There are a ton of videos on youtube on the many ways to wear these and I will try to do a blog about wraps as well.

Make your own booties

Make your own boppy cover

Make your own cloth diapers

Make your own wipes (you can use wash clothes too)- Thanks Becky C

I also absolutely LOVE the blog Smashed Peas and Carrots for ideas on other things that you can make.

What have I made?

• I made a few pairs of booties for my son and for gifts when he was about 9 months old. 
• I made a ring sling.
• I tried making my own wipes, both cloth and disposable, but I will share details in a later post.
• I made my own rocking chair cover. I was given a used glider rocker as a gift, but it needed a new cover. I wanted it to match my nursery bedding (that my Mom made for me before I was born) and I found some adorable large buttons as well.

 

Have you made anything for your kids or as gifts for other kids?

Baby Stuff - New vs. Used

So, you want to be frugal, but you also want the best for your baby and want to make sure what your buying is safe. Today I will talk about what I have heard about what not to buy used, why and if I agree with the logic.

Never buy used:

• Car seats
• Why? 
• When buying a used seat, you don't know if it was in a crash or dropped or otherwise misused.  If a car seat is in a crash, you are supposed to dispose of them immediately, even if the accident was moderate. Even though the seat may not look damaged, there could still be damage in the seat that you cannot see. It could also weaken an area that could break in the event of yet another crash. Here are some guidelines of when a seat should be replaced and when it is OK to keep using it.
• Another reason is that most car seats are installed incorrectly!! You want to make sure you have the correct manual for your car seat so that you install it properly.
• Exceptions
• You know and trust the person you are getting the seat from to tell you if it was in an accident.
• The date on the car seat is less than 6 years from the time you plan to use it. Safety standards are constantly being updated and some say the plastic and foam can deteriorate.
• You can purchase new covers from most manufacturers.
• What did we do?
• A co-worker gave us her old infant car seat and base that we used in one car and then we registered for a convertible car seat that we use in my husbands car. I think that we will purchase a new infant car seat if we have more children as it is getting close to the 6 year mark and showing signs of age.
•  Cribs
• Why?
• Like the car seat, safety standards for cribs are periodically updated, so getting a crib that is older may not be as safe as other cribs. CPSC safety standards can be found here.
• Cribs that are put together incorrectly (missing instructions) or missing parts can also pose a risk to your child.
• Recalls!! - There have been a lot of recalls lately for cribs.
• Mattress fit matters! If you buy a used crib without the mattress, you may have an issue finding a mattress that fits as well as it should.
• Exceptions
• If you know someone who has the manual and all the part and preferably still has the cribs set up so you can disassemble it yourself so that you know you are assembling it correctly as well. Also, that you have checked the recall list and the crib is not on it.
• What did we do?
• We had a hard time finding anything we liked. The big convertible sleigh cribs didn't fit our decor. We bought a new crib from IKEA that doesn't even have drop sides. It is nice and low to the ground and has adjustable mattress heights, so it is easy to get baby in or out, even if you had a c-section delivery.
• Crib Mattress
• Why?
• In addition to a growing concern about chemicals used in mattresses, some also believe that fungus can interact with these chemicals causing toxic gasses. The older and more used the mattress is, the greater build up they may have.
• If the mattress was not purchased with the crib, there may be fit issues.
• Some Moms will not even use the same mattress for their next baby.
• What did we do?
• We also got our mattress from Ikea. It is similar to this one. We liked the crib came from the same manufacturer and they were made to fit each other. It was also much softer than those at BabieRUs (have you felt the ones there?). The price was also right, the cheapest mattress at babies R us was still about $20 more than the one we got at Ikea.
• Nipples and Pacifiers
• Why?
• Rubber and silicone break down. Most manufactures recommend replacing them every three months to prevent a part from breaking off and causing a choking hazard.
• I also heard somewhere (can't remember where) that there are also concerns that rubber and silicone are not fully sterilized by boiling water.
• What did we do?
• I never used used nipples or pacifiers, but I never really had them offered to me either. I did use the ones we purchased for more than 3 months though. I feel confident that I would see any damage or tears while washing them before giving them to my son to use.

Grey Area:
This section are things that some people buy used and have no problem with and others would cringe at the thought.

• Breast Pumps
• Arguments for used:
• You can boil or purchase new all parts that touch the breast
• Argument against used:
• Hospital grade pumps also have air filters
• Pumps have labels that say they should not have more than one user.
• What did we do?
• My insurance covered all but about $20 of my pump, so I purchased one new. I think I would personally have a hard time buying a used pump, even with all new cups and tubes.  I did however boil and used extra pump cups I got in a free bin at a Mom 2 Mom sale.
• Bottles (You can get these in free bins at Mom 2 Mom sales).
• Arguments for used:
• You can boil them and kill off anything that might be on them from the previous user.
• Arguments against used:
• You could spread illness if something remained on the bottle from the previous user.
• Older bottles may not be BPA free.
• What did we do?
• Both. I registered for new bottles, but between pumping, storing and daycare, we needed more. We purchased some of the cheapest ones that were still BPA free but I also gladly took some that came in a free bin, boiled them and still use them today.
• Cloth Diapers
• Arguments for used:
• You can boil, bleach or otherwise sanitize them.
• If you use a diaper service, you are getting "used" diapers"
• Arguments against used:
• Mom's don't like the idea that another babies poop was in them.
• What did we do?
• We got most of our diaper new, however someone was kind enough to give us some of their well loved ones for free. I washed them on the sanitize cycle and they have been in our rotation ever since.
• Pack n' Play
• Arguments for used:
• New ones are expensive
• Some are barely used
• The part your baby touches can be covered with a sheet
• They make pack n play covers.
• Arguments against used:
• You cannot just throw the material in the washer and they can be dirty.
• What did we do?
• This is one item that I wanted new. I looked at them at garage and Mom 2 Mom sales and they were usually in pretty rough shape and expensive. We got one of the cheaper models, so it wasn't too much more than a used one.

What are some things that you would never buy used? Is there something on my list that you bought used and have no problems with the idea of using it?

Baby Stuff - Where can I get free stuff?

The best things in life are free right? Here are some ways to get great things for free:

1. Follow this site! Any time I see something that is free or an extremely good deal, I will post it here (I don't want to waste your time by posting too many things). However, free deals do not usually last long. I try to check out the deal to make sure that there are not any complicated steps or loop holes that make it not worth your time. To make sure you don't miss a deal:
1. Get Google Reader account
1. Subscribe to this feed so you get alerts for new deals
2. Like Budget4Baby on facebook. Deals will hit the blog first, but I do try to get them on facebook too.
2. Mom 2 Mom/Garage Sale free bins - I see it all the time when a Mom finds a stain on a shirt that she is trying to sell and throws it in a free bin. I take it, take it home, pre-treat it, wash it and it almost always come clean. If it doesn't it make a perfect undershirt or something to wear when I know he is just going to get messy anyways.
3. Other Moms - I have had a lot of friends and people I barely know bring me things that their kids have outgrown for free. I have gotten a high chair, a HUGE garbage bag of brand name toys, a NICE Jeep brand jogging stroller a car seat head rest and I am sure there are other things I am forgetting.
4. Freecycle - A great resource to find (and get rid of) pretty much anything. I got a free baby monitor and baby scale from here. I have seen some really great things be given away as well, but you have to be quick. Usually things go to the first responder and the good stuff goes fast!
5. Thred Up - I have not used this site, but Triplets Mommy did a post here about it. You donate clothes that no longer fit your child and other moms do the same.
6. Freepeats - Is another site like Thred up however it sounds like it is more local like freecycle
7. Large Item Trash Day - This may not be for everyone, but I have gotten some great stuff by driving by other houses the night before large item trash pick-up. Most of it can be scrubbed up and made like new.
8. Giveaways - There are a bunch of moms out there who have created facebook pages dedicated to publicizing giveaways for baby stuff from companies and WAHMs (Work at home Moms). My favorite ones are:
1. Dibs - Natural Parenting Giveaways
2. Coupon Mommy of 2 -  Aka Coupon Mommy of 3, Does product reviews and giveaway promotion
3. Crunchee Mom - Deals and Giveaways
4. Mirthful Motherhood - Reviews and giveaways
5. Nicki's Cloth Diaper Reviews - Reviews and giveaways
9. Rewards Programs - Redeem points on purchases and other sources in exchange for other baby goods. I have never used these because we mostly use cloth or off brand diapers, but I would be glad to hear/share stories of those of you that do.
1. Pampers Gifts to Grow 
2. Huggies Enjoy the Ride

Where do you get free baby stuff? Do you have an experience you would like to share?

Guest Blog - Maternity Fashion on Budget

When I first found out I was pregnant, a high school friend had just announced that she was pregnant. She has a blog where she did a fantastic and entertaining job of detailing her pregnancy. Both my husband and I eagerly awaited her daily post to see what craziness we were in store for in the coming months.

From being a loyal reader for almost two years now, I know that she knows about clothes. After reading my post after it was written, I knew I needed a favor and she was the one to ask.

Kristi's Maternity Fashion on Budget post:

Greeeeeeeeetings, Budget4Baby community! I’m head over heels that Budget4Baby asked me on over to talk about something that is ever so near and dear to my heart: clothing.

And to be totally honest (which is my thing), clothing oneself while pregnant is not nearly as fun as playing dress-up when you’re not knocked up. For me (a self-dubbed retail price hater that stacks coupons and sales whenever possible) it was really hard to justify the purchase of a whole new wardrobe for a mere 6 or so months of wear. Think of the shoes I could buy with that money!

With the exception of one incredibly fantastic pair of Mavi jeans, I’m proud to say that I never paid more than $10 for any maternity item in my closet. And don’t think for a minute that I looked like a ragamuffin in sweatpants and my husband’s tee shirts for the better part of six months (though that was a favorite at-home staple). I actually had quite the collection…in fact, some of my maternity tops were so cute I wish I could still wear them! 

I actually did a post on my blog on this topic waaaay back in 2008 – you can read it here. Or, if you’re like me and prefer a quickie, keep reading.

• ·         Shop early. Since you know you are pregnant a few months before you’ll actually start to show and need maternity clothing, start shopping well in advance. I found out I was pregnant in August and was due in April, so I knew I would need the bulk of my maternity clothes in winter wear. Well…guess what’s on clearance in August? Winter clothes! Many stores have a “bump” you can put on while trying on clothes (it’s super weird the first time, be warned). That way, you can have a good gauge on what size you will need.
• ·         Be a virtual shopper. Online shops often have a wider maternity selection than their brick and mortar stores. Two great examples are Old Navy and Target. Both have HUGE online collections and great prices…and if you sign up for email alerts, you can purchase things when items are on sale and shipping is free! Don’t forget the clearance sections on these sites!
• ·         Never underestimate the power of a long shirt. Wardrobe staples like tank tops or layering tees come in long lengths that are non-maternity so you can wear them when it no longer looks like you swallowed a beach ball. Brills! (*edit* - After reading this, I went out and bought some long tanks from express and LOVE THEM. -b4b)
• ·         Be a coupon queen. Stores like Kohl’s, JcPenney and Sears often run $10 coupons both online and in the Sunday papers. Be on the lookout and have friends and family save them for you, too. Additionally, I always make a beeline for the sale racks whenever I enter a store…the thrill of the hunt!
• ·         Be second hand savvy. Since most women wear maternity clothes for about 6 months, “used” items typically show little to no wear. Check out your local Mom2Mom sales, thrift stores and resale shops and peruse the maternity sections for some great deals. If there are outlet malls near you, check those out, too!
• At the end of the day, every woman deserves to feel confident and sexy in maternity clothing…but it never hurts to save a little money in the process!

Baby Stuff - What about me?

I want to apologize ahead of time for this blog as it is going to be a bit "weak".  I was absent the day that fashion sense was handed out and thus I have none. I would have been just fine wearing my husbands clothes the whole time I was pregnant and probably would have if I thought I could get away with it.

What about you? We are buying all this fun stuff for baby, but you are the one doing all the work right now :)

Where to buy?
Mom 2 Mom Sales - This is where most of my clothes were purchased and I was probably better dressed while I was pregnant that I dressed before or after. Because most woman are only pregnant a few times and possibly during different seasons, you can get like new clothes at a used price. There were a ton of cute things that were only worn a few times and cost about $2 or $3 each.

Kohls -  Their selection is not great, but they do have quite a few sales. Again, since you will probably only fit into them a hand full of times, quality is not super important.

Target - Target probably had the best selection when I was pregnant, but sales were hit or miss and I didn't really like anything there, but I know a lot of other people who adore the store.

Old Navy - Our Old Navy has since added a maternity section since I had my son, so I cannot speak from experience here, but when I was there the other day, they had some cute stuff.

Motherhood - I went in here a few times, but only bought something once. The prices were not horrible, but not like what I could pay at a mom 2 mom sale.
Freebee Alert: They also usually have a gift pack for signing up. I got a bottle and pacifier.

Other Advice:
Budget for a splurge - If you can, save a bit of money for something you love. Remember how I said I did buy one thing at Motherhood?  My baby shower was coming up and I felt huge and wanted something that made me "look pretty". It was a navy blue polka dot dress and I paid full price for it (which I almost never do). However, I love the dress. It looked great for the shower, and I can still wear it now. I think it was worth the money.

Get to know other Moms - Other Moms can be extremely generous!
Two of my experiences:

• A friend of mine was pregnant at the same time I was. Someone that her co-worker knew that was done having kids offered all of her clothes to her for free. THERE WERE THREE WHOLE GARBAGE BAGS OF CLOTHES. They ranged in sizes and my friend is smaller than I am, so she and I went through all of the clothes and I took the ones that didn't fit her or complement her, she took the ones that she liked and there were still some left!
• An aunt of mine was going to sell her clothes in a garage sale and let me pick through them first and buy anything that I liked.

Baby Stuff - Register Vs. Buy

This is a hard topic. If I see a good deal on something, should I buy it or wait to see if someone buys it from my registry?

Here are my hints:

• Be prepared. Print your registries and take them with you everywhere you go. Look at the cost of other things like storage (for clothes, toys diapers, etc.) as well. It is great to have a reference on how much something is new so you know just how good of a deal you are looking at. I have purchased something thinking it would cost a lot more new (my bouncy seat) and not purchased things thinking they were cheaper new (activity gym).
• Do you love it? We (meaning I, I don't think my husband cared either way :)) did a primary colors theme for our baby things and there were some items that you couldn't buy new in that theme. If I found something at a garage sale that was exactly what I wanted and not something I could still buy in stores, I was willing to pay a bit more for. If it is not something you care about the style with and you registered for the same thing or something similar, it might be best to wait and see unless it is a REALLY good deal.
• Is it a REALLY good deal? This means its in like new condition and at least 50% off the retail price, or it is in usable, but poor condition and 90-95% off and an inbetween % for other conditions.
• Be cautious of stores that like to mark things up before having a sale on them, use your research to decide what the true "Retail Price" is.
• Watch out for the garage/tag sale where they post the "new" price as well as their price. This may be what they paid for the item in 1982, but it does not mean that it is worth that today, especially if it is well used. 

What do people love to give?

From personal experience and seeing what others get at their showers people LOVE to give the following:

• Clothes - Clothes poured in after our son was born! - I am not sure if this was because his gender was a surprise or not though. Any other moms have comments?
• Blankets (receiving and otherwise) - We got a lot of personalized blankets from people.
• ANYTHING bath related - This was the first stuff to be purchased on my registry.
• Group gifts - I actually had quite a few people organize with others to purchase large items on my registry and I have seen the same with my friends.
• Because of this, I recommend thinking ahead for large things that you may not need now, but will need in the future. A good example is a convertable car seat. Registering for one ahead of time will save you the expense of having to buy one when they are older.

Baby Stuff - Where should I register?

Ah, its that time again. The time most women cannot wait for and most men dread. For the second (if you are married), and probably last time in your life, you will be headed to the store to register for everything (and more) that you need for baby.

But where should you register? How many places should you register? The answers, as always, come with more questions.

When should we register?:
When I found out I was pregnant, I could not WAIT to go pick out all sorts of fun baby things. Of course I wanted to at least wait until I was 12 weeks along so no one found out too soon, but when should you register? There are a few things to consider.

1. Getting a list of "wants" ahead of time will help you know what you already decided on if you happen to see something similar at a garage sale for a great deal.
2. It is also good to have a handle on what things cost new, so you know a good deal when you see one.
3. Most baby brands are like cars and they come out with a new, improved "line" every year. You may fall in love with something only to find that it has been discontinued before anyone buys it. (like my highchair)

So, really any time after 12 weeks at at least 2 weeks before your shower. You may want to wait until you know the gender if you are finding out as well.

Your target audience:
Are your gifters all from the same region? If not, is the store you want to register at available to all of them?
How tech savvy are your gifters? Can they order things from online websites?

Your options:
Because I am from the midwest, I cannot speak for all areas, but here is what I found available when I started looking:

• Babies R Us - This is probably by far the most popular place to register where we live. If I need to get a baby gift, but I am not sure where the family is registered, I check here first. As far as prices go, I have found some items to be much higher in price than other stores, but some items to be the same or lower. Babies R Us also offers ton of coupons at the register and in the mail. Many people at our showers would include their register coupons with the gift at our showers!
• You also will get a 10% off coupon to use once on anything left on your registry.
• Their return policy is quite good. Not a good ad Bed Bath and Beyond, but they are relitively hassel free.
• Freebie Alert: Babies R Us also typically gives you a gift bag with a couple of samples when you create a registry.
• Target - I was not super impressed with targets registry. We did register there, but only added a few things that we could not get at babies R us. I also found targets prices to be higher for most things than elsewhere.
• When you register at target you also get put on their baby coupon list and they send out high value baby coupon booklets.
• You also will get a 10% off coupon to use once on anything left on your registry. 
• Freebie Alert: I was told that they had gifts when I registered, but they were all out the day I was there :(
• JcPenny -I did not register here and do not know anyone that has, so I cannot comment too much, but I know that they do have some great sales where you can get really cheap baby clothes.
• Sears - It is important to me to keep this blog as unbias as possible, but this in an area that I cannot do that as I am NOT a big sears fan. I have had too many bad experiences between my Wedding Registry, Dryer and Portraits (see future post for this one) at sears. I don't think their baby selection is that hot either. 
• Walmart - Walmart does have a decent selection and decent prices. I do know quite a few people that have ethical issues with the store however, so if you want your gifters to stick to your registry, you many want to register in another place in addition to here. Of course, at walmart the prices are in most cases low, but I have seen a few things that you can get cheaper elsewhere.
• Burlington Coat Factory - Like target, I also registered here, however I didn't end up actually putting anything on the registry. They didn't have anything that Babies R Us didn't and their prices were about the same. If you want to put clothing on your registry though, they do have some cute things, but I think the inventory turns over quite quickly with clothes, so you may only want to go a few weeks before your shower.
• MyRegistry.com - I did register here and I did use it. It was a great catch all because most of the things I wanted were at Babies R Us and it seemed like there was one thing in every other store. The down side? Only two people actually used it. My gifters were mostly older (our parents friends and family) who either didn't know how or were too scared to use their credit card online. 
• Amazon - Amazon has recently allowed users to add items that are not available through amazon to your registry with them. I am so bummed that this option was not available when we were registering!
• Baby Registry Locator - In case you still want more options.

How many places should I choose: 
In my option 1 or 2 places is a good number. Try to pick places so that everyone on your gifter list has access to at least 1 store.
 
Tricky Tricks

• Display your registry password in the info and tell gifters to feel free to remove items if they find it cheaper elsewhere or used (if you are ok with that). You also run the risk of someone being mean and deleting the whole thing, so you might want to make a hard copy. - Thanks Becky C.
• If your store has a good return policy, register for items in the $30 range or duplicates, even if you don't want them. You can return them to get other things that were not purchased on your registry or other things you didn't know you needed until after baby was gone. This one may be a tricky one though as it could really hurt the feelings of someone who purchased the item for you and doesn't see it being used when they come visit the baby, so proceed with caution. This is another reason why duplicates may be a better option.
• Return and re-purchase items when the are on sale or when you have a coupon.

What did we do?
We choose Babies R Us and MyRegistry.com. If we could do it again, I would probably do Babies R Us again because we did do well with our coupons there. At first I was angry we could not get cash, only store credit, but in the end, we had no problems spending the store credit. I think I would try for the Amazon registry in place of myregistry.com if we had to do it again today. I think it has a better reputation for those sceptical of buying online and it was nice to have a catchall.

Experienced moms, where did you register/are you registered? Would you do it again?

Next Week: Buy Vs. Register

BABY STUFF!!

We are finally here! This post starts our next (long) series on what and where to buy for baby.

1. Where should I register?  - Places to register for baby
2. Register vs. Buy  - What thing should I buy now and what should I wait for and hope people buy for me?
3. Where should I shop?  - Places to find good deals for baby
4. What about me? - Where to get maternity clothes for a good price
5. Where can I get free stuff? - Resources for getting things free for baby and mommy
6. New vs. Used - What things should I buy new and what is ok to buy used?
7. What can I make? - Ideas on things you can make yourself and save!
8. What does baby really need? - Does baby really need ________?
9. What is a good price for.....?  - Where can you get it, what is a good price? Is there a cheaper alternative?

What to take to the hospital

 

To make my hospital list, I compiled the lists from many sources online and book sources. I also purchased this book: Baby Lists: What to Do and What to Get to Prepare for Baby. This is a list of pretty much anything anyone has suggested, so you may be able to do without many things on it.

I would suggest finding someone that already gave birth in the hospital you plan to birth in to see what their hospital provided for them.

Many companies will give hospitals samples to use in hopes that you will choose to continue to purchase their products. Because the hospital gets the items for little or no cost, they are often willing to give you extras to take home.

Red items are ones that you can get probably get from the hospital for free and may want to stock up on for a home supply.


For Mom
Body wash/Shampoo - The hospital will probably provide hotel like bottles, but if you really like your soap, you may want to bring it.
Brush - If you have longer hair, you will want this to get the rats nest our of your hair from birthing.
Deoderant - You may or may not need this, depending on how concerned with your hygene you are. I couldn't care less how I looked or smelled after getting birth.
Scrunchies/hair ties - I was very glad that I had something to hold my hair back while giving birth.
Pads/Depends - Some people don't realize this, but even if you have a C-section, you will bleed quite a bit after giving birth and you will need some sort of pad.

I actually really like the hospital pads and "disposable" underware. They were super comfortable and although the pad was bulky, I like it better than anything I found in the stores. I actually think I had a reaction to one of the pads I purchased after my supply ran out.  I would suggest packing your supply away at every nursing shift change and ask for more so you can use them at home. The underware are actually washable.

Due to the reaction I had, I actually ended up using some cloth diaper inserts that I had, so you may even want to consider re-usable pads called "mama cloth". I will talk more about this when we get to the diaper posts.

A friend suggested that I get some depends and they were nice for going out to Dr. Appointments in the days after birth.

Going home clothes
Robe/Clothes for hospital stay - I didn't need one because I was happy with the hospital gowns, but if you are the type of person who likes to be in their own clothes, this may be important to you.
Slippers - I didn't need one, but like going barefoot and never really went that far.
Nursing gown/Nursing Shirt - They have hospital gowns with nursing holes, but again if you like your own clothes you may want to bring these.

Nursing shirts can be expensive and in my experience hard to find used. Although they sell them at maternity stores and babies R us, they are pretty expensive. I found most of mine at Meijer and Walmart and I wore them ALL The time, definately worth the money in my option.
Pump - They will have a pump there for you to use if you need one while there, but if you bring your own, the lactation consultant can show you how to use it.
Boppy - I was glad I had my boppy for learning to nurse.
Nursing Pads - They may have these at your hospital as well, but you may not need them depending on how quickly your milk comes in. They also make washable versions of these and you can make your own. I really liked the organic ones because they held their shape much better than the non organic ones after being washing.
Lanolin  - You may want this for nipple pain if nursing. My hospital had small sample packets of them and were a bit stingy, but again something great to stock up on.
Hydrogel Pads  - I was really surprised that the hospital gave these to me for free because they are quite expensive. Again a great thing to try and stock up on during nursing shift changes.
Lip Balm - The hospital may be dry and you may get chapped lips. This may also be true if you are dehydrated from giving birth.
Toothbrush/paste - I would imagine the hospital may provide these if you asked, but I brought my own.
iPod - You may want this if you think you may need to get "into the zone" when birthing.
Hard candy - Most places don't let you eat while in labor, however I put in my birth plan that I wanted to be able to eat and drink what i wanted. I was nautious and wanted to eat so I could throw something besides bile up.
Back massager/Tennis ball - Incase you have back labor (wasnt a problem for me)
TP - The have hospital stuff there, but you may want softer stuff. I had a lot of swelling, so I didnt wipe for about a month. I just jumped in the tub after I used the bathroom.
Socks
Towel - Theirs are scratchy, but if that doesnt bother you, you dont need them
Swimsuit top/sports bra - If you want to use the big tub. I really didnt care who saw me naked while in labor, most womens modesty goes to the wind from what I understand.
Tube Sock filled with long grain rice - These are nice to microwave for any pain (I didnt use mine so I am not sure if the had one available or not)
Ear Plugs - essential if you are a light sleeper
Dermoplast/Proctofoam - I dont remember what this was recommended for and did not pack or use them
Tucks Pads - They should have these at the hospital and the tub should last you for the whole recovery, they are good for hermoids if you have them and for any swelling you have after the birth
Birth Ball - They have these too, but if you have a yoga ball you like, you may want to bring it as theirs may not be inflated how you want it to.



For Dad
Pop
Snacks
Toiletries
Book
Change of Clothes
Swim Trunks - If they want to get in the tub with you
Coins - For vending machines
Blanket
Razor

For Baby
Receiving blankets - They have these and theirs work much better than the ones in the stores, but you are not supposed to take them home.
Burp Cloths - They have these also and you are also not supposed to take them home.
Clothes- They provide clothes for them to wear while you are in the hospital, but you will need something for them to go home in (you may want to pack a few sizes since small babies need REALLY tiny  (premie or newborn) things and other larger babies may be almost ready to wear size 0-3. I was shocked how huge some of our outfits were on my son.) Most hospitals also take pictures, so you may want something cute for them. Note: The company that took my sons pictures were a bit agressive in making sure they took the pictures and in calling after to try and get us to order them. They even got kinda nasty when I told them we didn't want any.
Pacifier - They have these too, but you may want to bring your own orthodontic ones because some babies wont take anything other that what they had first. The ones they have in the hospital are really hard to find, I think you need to buy them online.
Car Seat - They will probably  inspect the car seat and they have classes on how to use them.
Plaster foot kit/baby book for foot prints - Our hospital had an ink one they give you at the hosptial.
Nail Clippers - They will not cut nails for you!
Mittens- If you don't want to cut their nails and they are long and scratching themselves. The baby gowns they had at our hospital had little cuffs you could put over their hands too.
Diapers - They have these and our hospital was pretty free with giving them away. They even offered us extras when packing to go home.
Wipes - They have these (another think to stockpile and ask for more). They even gave us the plastic container!

Other
Large empty bag for gifts  - Ikea bags are GREAT for this. (I think they are less than a dollar if you live near ikea)
Birth Plan - See last weeks post
Copy of Paperwork - I was annoyed that I was expected to read and sign all the paper work when I arrived at the hospital in labor, so I requested a copy of everything ahead of time so I had time to actually understand what I was signing.
Camera - A must for capturing those first moments.
Video Camera
Batteries/charger
Laptop - I worked from my hospital bed hours after giving birth... You get a rush of energy after you have the baby. It is also great for facebooking pictures of your new little one.
Night Light - Our hospital had little lights everywhere that we could turn on for diaper changes and such.
Folder/Filer for paperwork
Watch with second hand - If you want to time contractions, I didnt worry about that.
Gum
Mints
Cooler

..... And that is my list! Is there anything I am missing that you used in the hospital? How about those of you with home births, what supplies did you need to get?

Next Week: BABY STUFF!!!!

Guest Blog - International Adoption

 

Two guest blogs in a row? How awesome is that?? 

Doreen Beltz, wife to 1, mom to 5, and family pastor to many at The River Church, Kalamazoo, MI (in that order!) has been kind enough to write up her experience with the international adoption of their two adorable little Chinese girls.
 

The Beltz Family International Adoption Experience:

Whether starting or expanding your family, the decision to become a parent is one giant step closer to God.  He designed us to "be in family" and glorify Him through our relationships with other family members.  There are something like 28 legally "accepted" definitions of what constitutes a family nowadays...humans are so creative.

My family consists of me, my awesome husband, 1 biological daughter (15), 2 biological sons (12 & 11) and 2 daughters (both 6) adopted from China.  Adoption has ebbed and flowed over time and everyone has an opinion about it.  Personally, I feel it's a beautiful thing.

Both of our international adoption processes were typical.  That is to say that there was nothing predictable, simple or inexpensive about either adventure!  Nonetheless, I have been both spiritually-strengthened and deepened as a mom through these experiences.

If you are considering an international adoption, begin with prayer.  Work with your spouse to be clear that you are "on the same page", as the process creates stress in every area of family life and finances. Work with a reputable adoption agency (we chose Adoption Associates in Jenison, MI) and line up resources of support for you, your spouse and your children.  

We adopted Lydia in 2004 at the age of 14 months and 5-year-old  Margaret Mae in 2009, both from China.  The girls are 10 months apart and polar opposite in temperament.  (Which is actually awesome--they get along like peas and carrots, each with her own "turf"!)  

Both adoptions were considered "special needs", as they both have congenital heart defects, now repaired.  Because of the special needs classification, our time frame was shorter than most--completed in about a year.  Typically, international adoptions vary between 2 and 3 years from start to finish and some require extensive in-country stays or multiple trips.  I spent 10 days in China the first trip and 15 days the second trip, before bringing the girls home.

Each adoption cost us about $23K, more than we anticipated in each case.  Delays, changing regulations and hidden costs add up quickly and really test one's perseverance.  However, costs can be shaved by taking advantage of tax credits, employer contributions (thanks Pfizer) and other opportunities for financial assistance.

Adding to the family (no matter how you do it!) certainly shakes things up and requires sacrifice from all.  But when you are living in line with God's plan for His people and adding to His family in the process, He will guide, encourage and  protect you every step of the way!

If you have questions about international adoption, Doreen can be contacted at dbeltz at theriver dot info.

Guest Blog - Domestic Adoption

I think adoption is such a wonderful way to become a parent. What a lucky child to (in most cases) have birth parents who love them so much and are willing to give them a better life by choosing another wonderful couple who will love and care for them! So, thanks to everyone who is involved in the adoption process!

I am SO happy to introduce my guest blogger Kate Woodhams!

She became the mother of two wonderful boys through domestic adoption and was willing to share the process and her story.

Kate's Story
Adoption has been a wonderful blessing for us. We were going through the motions of fertility treatments when we began to feel like things were spinning out of control and doctor appointments were dictating our lives.

We didn’t know much about adoption at the time, nor knew anyone who could share their adoption story with us. We went into things blind, but had a lot of faith that this what was meant to be. We found a couple of adoption agencies in the area and attended their informational meetings to learn more about what options we had. There are several different ways a couple can go about adopting- through the foster care system, domestic infant or internationa adoption programs. Each has its own unique process along with it’s advantages and disadvantages depending on your lifestyle.

The foster care program typically involves a child who has suffered either abuse or neglect. A family can choose to become foster parents or adopt out of the foster care program. One great advantage to going through this program is the cost of adoption is often very low and in some cases the state will help pay for costs in raising the child until 18 years of age.

The domestic infant program involves waiting families wanting to be chosen by birth families. There is not a waiting list, like many people believe to be true. The length of time that a family waits for an infant relies solely on how quickly paperwork is turned in and how long it takes to be chosen by a birth family. Within this program, an agreement is made between both families about whether they’d like it to be an open, semi-open or closed adoption. Open means there is contact and sometimes visitation between the child and birth family. Semi-open typically means pictures and letters are sent to the birth family to update them on how the child is doing. Closed adoptions offer no communication or visits with the birth family.

The international adoption program varies greatly depending on the country in which the adoption will take place. Each country has it’s own rules and regulations in regards to the family, visits to the country and age of children waiting to be adopted. One great advantage to going through this program is the number of children waiting for families to adopt them. Because the process can take some time, it is rare to bring home a newborn baby, but unlike the domestic infant adoption program you are not waiting for a family to choose you.

We chose the domestic infant adoption program for both of our children. With both of our adoptions we met the birth mothers in person after they initially chose us from our profile (a book of letters introducing ourselves and pictures of the life we have to offer a child). The two adoption stories vary, just like any two birth stories would vary in any other circumstance. For our first son, we were invited to be at the hospital during labor and delivery. The hospital treated us very well and gave us a hospital room, just like any other family would be given. The nurses were helpful in showing us the ins and outs of caring for a newborn. Our second son, went to interim care (a short term foster family’s home) for two weeks before coming home to us. In this instance, we were actually chosen to adopt after the birth mother delivered our son. After she met us and was reassured in her decision to choose us, we met our baby and brought him home.

In both of our adoptions, there was a waiting period from the time that we brought our boys home to when the parental rights were terminated. Since we didn’t use the foster care program or the international adoption program, we’re unsure of exactly the process involved for those adoptions. The time in which we had our sons home with us until the parental rights are terminated are no doubt a scary time. If the birth family is to change their minds, they do have the legal right and the baby will be placed with them (this is known as a legal risk placement; meaning we know that we are taking a legal risk). We were informed that the termination of parental rights hearrings were held about 3 months after birth in both instances. Once that court date takes place, there is a huge sigh of relief, the birth family can no longer change their minds, however the adoption process is not quite final.

We were required to have two more home visits through the agency to be sure that everyone has made a smoothe adjustment. Once those home visits are complete and paperwork is turned into the court a petition to finalize the adoption is in place. This took place right around 10 months of age for both of our sons. You can choose to have this done through the mail, or attend a court hearring to finalize the adoption. To us, these days were just as special as their birthday. Court is very informal and we were invited to bring friends, family, cameras, video cameras etc. Afterwards for both sons, a big party was thrown in their honor!

We invite you to explore adoption as a way to build your family. It truly has been the greatest of miracles in our lives and we’d love to share more information with anyone who might desire it.. (email me at budget4baby at gmail dot com if you would like to get in touch with Kate)

Child Birth Classes

 

There are a lot of ways out there that you can educate yourself on having a baby. What you choose will depend a lot on what type of birth you want to have. Many women are able to have the birth that they wanted without ever cracking a book or taking a class. It all depends on the type of person you are and your expectations.

Books
There are a ton of good books out there about pregnancy and birthing.
 Books that I read :

• The Pregnancy Book: Month-by-Month, Everything You Need to Know From America's Baby Experts - I really liked this book, I felt like it was a good balance between the extremes of everything natural and everything medical.
• The Birth Book: Everything You Need to Know to Have a Safe and Satisfying Birth (Sears Parenting Library) - I have not read this book, but its is by Dr. Sears and I have liked most of his other advice.
•  The Girlfriends' Guide to Pregnancy - I didn't care for this book because her info is not medically based and in some cases I felt she was just plain wrong. However, I have a friend who loved this book. I think this would be a good book to read if you are interested in a more traditional hospital birth.
• I'm Pregnant! Now What Do I Eat?  - This book has good information, however in my first trimester just looking at most of the recipes made me ill. I think the food was a bit out of my "normal" range and that, combined with nausea killed any interest in new food adventures.
• Ina May's Guide to Childbirth  - A must read for moms who want a natural birth. She was so inspiring, well researched and while she explained possible issues, I didn't feel like I was being scared into not having a baby at the hospital.
• The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth  - This book was informative for someone who would like a natural birth, but I didn't feel like it empowered me for a natural birth like Ina May did. She spoke a lot more about the "dangers" of a hospital birth.
• Husband-Coached Childbirth (Fifth Edition): The Bradley Method of Natural Childbirth - This was the first book that I read after I was pregnant. It was a good book with good ideas for a natural birth and displayed well researched ideas that questioned "routine" hospital birth practices.
• *Warning* this book is a bit outdated and a by today's standards some of his statements could be taken as sexist. An example that I can think of right now is, that he referred to a woman's breasts and "sweater ornaments". Outdated terms aside, this book did convince me to seek a Bradley method child birth class.
• Born in the USA: How a Broken Maternity System Must Be Fixed to Put Women and Children First - If you feel like you are getting a lot of information that is pro medicated hospital birth, this is a good book to balance your decision out. I would recommend reading this book before you get pregnant because it talks about some scary stuff, but also gives a good starting point on what questions you should ask your OB if anything in the book concerns you.

Other Popular Books

• Belly Laughs: The Naked Truth about Pregnancy and Childbirth 
• What to Expect When You're Expecting: Fourth Edition - I didn't read this book because the author doesn't have any medical background and getting facts was important to me. I know many moms who swear by this book though. I had heard that this book can be a bit "scary" and because I am a worry wart to begin with I though I would stay away and this comment from amazon was enough to put me over the edge.

Websites:

• BabyCenter - I would not credit this a leader in a sound and researched birth information, but it does have some great information for starting points for your own research.

Hospital Classes:

• Most hospitals will hold classes on child birth, they may hold many classes that cover specific topics so that you can pick and choose the classes that interest you. 
• I did end up taking the breastfeeding course offered by our hospital and my husband took the class offered for Dads, but I did not take their birth class.

Private Classes:
Many communities have non-hospital affiliated classes available. 

• One popular example are the Bradley Method classes. Name sound familiar? Yes, he is the "sweater ornament" person, but his method of "Husband Coached Childbirth" is popular and boasts being quite effective.
• For those of you local to Kalamazoo, a popular spinoff of the Bradley Method classes are hosted by Birth Kalamazoo. This class teaches elements of the Bradley method, but also incorporates other methods and ideas of natural child birth.

What did I do?

• I read the books listed above, I borrowed most of them from friends, the library or other (free) resources. 
• I googled any questions I had about different methods, keeping in mind that not everything on the internet is true.
• I took the Best of Natural Child birth class from Birth Kalamazoo, taught by Jessica English.
• I took the Breastfeeding class from our local hospital.
• Dad took a "Daddy boot camp" class through the hospital as well.

What books did you read?
Did you read "What to expect when you're expecting"? Did you like it?
What websites did/do you use?

Next week: The last post in this series "what to pack" and the first post where we really start looking at ways to save money.

Your Birth Experience

 

What type of birth experience you want to have will help you decide where you should have your baby and who should be there to help you.

The hospital is a good place to birth if:

• You have good insurance or are independently wealthy (my bill was about $20,000)
• You want the option to have your pain be managed with drugs such as an epidural
• You like the idea of having the equipment, knowledge and a broad range of skill on hand in case a complication arises.
• You do not need a doctor or midwife with you most of the time you are in labor. Many times the doctor will arrive just in time to deliver your baby
• You would prefer a scheduled C-section if your provider will allow it
• You like the idea of not having to prepare much and trust your provider to do what needs to be done
• You understand that the hospitals goal for your birthing experience is a healthy baby and a healthy mommy and may be quicker to use interventions if they see something that could possibly interfere with that.

At home, with a midwife is a good place to birth if:

• You do not want/need pain management
• You are willing to pay about $1,000-$3,000 out of pocket (insurance rarely covers home birth)
• You like the idea that many home birth midwifes will come to your home for your pre-natal care
• You want the comfort of home while you give birth
• You will be comfortable giving birth at home
• You have the confidence and belief that women have been giving birth since the beginning of time, your body was made to do this and are not concerned about the possibility of complications for you or your baby
• You worry about the fact that hospitals need to protect their interests and are quicker to use interventions
• You are ok with not getting an ultrasound if you choose only home midwife care
• You can handle your peers, family and medical professionals questioning your choice. 
• If you are seeing a hospital OB or midwife in addition to your home midwife pre-natal care, some offices will write you a letter after the birth of your child discontinuing their care of you, some will no longer see you if you tell them you are planning a home birth

An unassisted home birth (free birth) could be an option if:

• You are ok with the fact that most experts, even home birth advocates strongly do not recommend this option
• You want a home birth, but live in an area where a home birth midwife is not available or illegal
• You feel educated (on the topic) and confident enough to be both patient and "doctor" during your labor.

Unfortunately, most of us probably agree with a few bullet points from two or more of the categories and there are some other options to help you find a middle ground.

Birth Centers
If you are lucky enough to live close enough to one of these centers, they can be a great middle ground. They have some medical staff who can do basic medical procedures and are equip to easily transfer patients to a hospital if needed. They tend to focus more on natural childbirth and natural pain management. Epidurals are not available at birth centers. Some insurance companies will reimburse you for your stay and the costs are lower than in hospitals. The American Association of Birth Centers can provide you with more information.

Doulas
Can offer care directly to you. They do not provide medical support, but are there to encourage you and help you through your labor. They can offer new positions to try for pain management and also be there to support your support personnel. Doulas can range in cost anywhere from $0 (a doula in training) to about $1000 dollars. I have not heard of insurance ever paying for a doula. You can find more information on Doulas at DONA International.

In-Tune Professional Care
Finding an OB or midwife that is on board with your birth experience and choosing a hospital that also supports the way you want to labor is a huge factor in getting the birth experience that you want. This can be hard to do because most practices will have many midwifes or OBs on staff that you like, and some that you do not. However, whichever one is on call when your little one decides to make an appearance is who you get. Some OB/Midwife practices will work with you if there is a particular provider that you have a conflict with. I would highly recommend doing so.

A Birth Plan
Having a birth plan is very helpful. It informs and reminds your professional staff of the experience you would like to strive for. It also helps you remember what you wanted to strive for after you have already had 20 hours of labor with more to go. It is suggested that birth plans be one page long or less, but I had a lot of information I wanted on there. I opted to put my "preferred" birth plan on page on and then any "emergency" information on the second sheet, since it would not be needed unless something did indeed go wrong.
Great things to have in the birth plan are:

• If and when you want drugs for pain management. It can be helpful to specify if you do not want pain drugs offered to you. Many women do not think to ask for them, but are eager to take them when offered.
• Who you want in your birth room? Some women like to have the whole extended family with them, others just want to be with one or two trusted family members or friends.
• Emergency plan. If you end up needing a C-section or if there are other complications, who do you want called? Do you want your significant other with you in recovery or with your baby?
• This one was odd, but I had in my birth plan that I wanted to eat and drink during labor and the midwife indicated that since it was in my plan she would allow me to, whereas otherwise they would not.
• Do you want to bank cord blood?
• Do you want to wait to cut the cord to allow the blood to leave the cord?
• Do you want your baby to have Hep B, Vit K shots or eye drops?
• Do you want your baby boy to be circumcised?
• Do you prefer to tear or have an episiotomy?
• Are you ok with an IV?
• Do you want to breastfeed right after birth?
• Can baby have formula or a pacifier?
• Do you want to see a lactation consultant after birth?
• I also included a paragraph on me and my personality to help them understand me, as I think I have a pretty strong personality and not everyone knows how to handle it.

A copy of my birth plan can be found here. I have changed personal information to 0000 or 555-555-5555, so if you see that it means something identifiable was there. Everything above the dotted line is the "main" birth plan that I gave copies of all of my nursing staff. Everything below the dotted line was in my chart in case of emergency and they needed more detail.

Informed Hospital Nurses
When you check-in, let the hospital nurse know how you plan to birth. They can assign you someone who is good with moms birthing naturally or someone good with moms who choose an epidural.

An open mind
Not every birth is going to be exactly what the mom wants it to be. It is important that moms understand that things can go wrong. A successful birth does end with a healthy mom and a healthy baby. (Thanks Jessica)

What did I choose?
I chose to have my baby in the hospital. The hospital where were at seemed more in-tune with natural child birth than most hospitals I have heard about. Overall I was happy with this decision. My placenta ended up not delivering at the end and I needed to go in the OR to have it removed. I was glad I was in a hospital for this, but I don't think I would have died if I need to be transferred.

I do wish I had spent the extra $500 for a doula. I feel like I could have labored longer (they used a vacuum to get my son out), but felt that I was given the option of that or a c-section (the hospital reports indicated otherwise however). By then I was exhausted (4 hours into pushing) and didn't have the breath to argue for more time.

Birth Stories from blogs I stalk follow:

Hospital: 
Baby Mamas Drama Part 1 Part 2
Exploiting My Baby
Our Little Online Corner
Gabbing with Grace
...and Baby Makes 3 Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

Home:
*Tara - 3 home births + one hospital transfer = 4 girls


*I do know quite a few people who have had home births, so although I do not follow their blogs (or they do not have one) I asked a few of them to share their birth stories as well to get a more rounded list of stories for you. I will link more as they get back to me.

Please feel free to link to your birth experiences in the comments section! As always, I am also very open to corrections or additions as long as they are presented kindly.

Next post: Childbirth education. What options are available in your area? Did you/are you planning to take a childbirth education class?